Blindsided

Soooooo....

I thought I was headed toward a complete transmogrification. One that would take me to Tennessee to a new home, new job, new career. One that would allow my personal life to flourish.

Then, I was asked to help with the Theatre Productions this year as part of a reboot of sorts. And, I said yes. One year. Then I'm on to other things. Earlier, I had decided to never do theatre again for 50 reasons. But, one year, two plays, and I'm out.

Then I held auditions for our fall play. You know that feeling of "home" you get when you are someplace? It is impossible to describe accurately, but when I walked into the theatre to hold auditions, my heart swelled, I felt calm. I was home.

Blindsided. A different transmogrification. Not a new home. Not a new career, No, a return to a time in the late 90's when I built an internationally renowned theatre program.

Two conversations later, I'm staying. I'm going to try to rebuild the theatre program. Every day at 4:30 when I move from teacher to theatre director, I have a sense of joy.

September: Larvai

 Purple Morph Larva

Integrity versus the universe. The summer was filled with signs that it was time to move on. Native American spritualigy brought me the moth and other animals that indicate change. The WWW sent me signs with English teaching positions advertised in every county near Johnston City, TN. The realstate world sent me the perfect apartment available at the perfect time. 

BUT.....I had committed to return to my school in Virginia. I had agreed to not only teach, but also to work with many different groups. 

AND.... we would have a week to pack and move. 

I chose integrity. 

NOW.... the month of September has been a trial. Everything is a challenge. Every day, I wonder if the entire year will be a struggle because I ignored the universe and chose integrity. 

Me and the Purple Morph

At 58 years old, when it feels like others are steeped in the “waiting time” -leaving their young dreams behind them, dreaming of their retirement from “work”, considering their final stage of life - I am steeped in starting anew.

I considered using metamorphosis as my blog title, but it seems to be so much more. I apologize to the butterfly who led me to this realization, but I’ve metamorphosed so many times, this time is different.

This time the stages are both professional and personal. A confessed workaholic, my previous stages have been solely professional with a side of personal. While you may find that the definition is off putting, [transmogrify (tràns-mòg´re-fì´, trànz-) verb, transitive, To change into a different shape or form, especially one that is fantastic or bizarre. (The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, Third Edition)] I embrace the idea of the fantastic versus the bizarre.

Here, in this space, I hope to reflect and explore my transmogrification into a fantastic me.